It is inappropriate to slap, spank or hit a child. Speak to your child, explain what's needed and wanted for the child. Stop the objectionable behavior, use positive reinforcement, and give at least 10 yes's to each one no. Have the child know she or he is still a good person. Spare the rod, without spoiling the child.
When a parent, whether mom or dad, spanks her/his child, the parent teaches the child that hitting, bullying, violence is the way to do things. The child learns to be manipulative and to have lower self-esteem, and feels demeaned, less-than. Why is this? The child was disrespected by the parent who is supposed to love the child. This also teaches great confusion about what love is and what love does.
The child may or may not stop the objectionable behavior, not because the child learned anything but because the child prefers that the slapping or nasty verbal language and tone coming from the parent be stopped. So, if the child has to agree with the parent, the child often will do so. Did this mean the child learned the lesson the parent meant to teach? No.
Have I ever hit a child? Yes. Also, afterward, I felt I was the one who made the mistake. Always. It was a bigger lesson for me than for the child, the few times in my life that I did it, spurring me to grow spiritually. I also apologized to the child, and explained what needed to be done.
Where are you with this? Where are you with "spare the rod and spoil the child"? For me, it's ridiculous. Once at a lovely event, another mom and I had a difference of opinion about this, she feeling that because the Bible ostensibly taught this, she was totally justified to smack her daughter when her daughter misbehaved. In fact, she felt I was disparaging of her religious beliefs because I told her the Bible was written in a patriarchical age by men who often had a dominating controlling mentality. She was in a huff. I maintain there are better ways.
Sparing the rod and finding more enlightened ways to teach one's child by and large brings forth a healthier child. Yes, absolutely, discipline your child. Be appropriately firm yet loving. Refrain from slapping, hitting, whacking, smacking. This means you are out of control, especially if the parent does this when the parent is angry. This is one of the reasons we still have war.
See more on Kindle and Nook with THE MOTHER'S MANUAL, A SPIRITUAL AND PRACTICAL GUIDE TO CHILD REARING AND MOTHERHOOD.. Just put the name in. The entire book is on Kindle at
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Lots of Love,
MamaHeart
Audrye
www.TheMothersManual.com
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